Living the Vida Loca

I feel like I’m living in a permanent state of high stress zombie mode. And now I can’t quite remember what my life was like when I wasn’t over-scheduled every minute of the day. I feel like I probably wasn’t very productive. Because there’s the rub isn’t it? When you’re busy, you wish you were not. Right now, I dream of all the things I would do if I had spare time. I would take a language class, I would cook more, I would exercise every day, I would have eyebrows that didn’t look like old growth forests.

But that’s not actually what happens when you have time. What happens when you have time is that your extra time gets sucked into some sort of “dick around” vortex wherein you actually wind up with just as little time as when you are very busy. I know this because last year when I was semi-employed, I thought I was crazy busy and overwhelmed. Little did I know.

Last week in my manic-ness I hung up about 20 different pictures on our bedroom wall. I put stuff up on the mantle. I reorganized bookshelves. And now our apartment looks one more step away from sanitarium chic.

How did I not have time to do all this stuff back before I had a full time job and before I was in crazy wedding planning mode? What did I do with my life?

Sometimes I look forward to after the wedding when life will be a little more relaxed. I think of all the projects I’ll have time for then. But realistically, who knows if they will get taken care of? It might be that I’m more likely to get them now, in super bot mode than any time else.

2 responses to “Living the Vida Loca

  1. i long some days to be able to do what a lot of people do, which is just come home from work, cook something easy and watch some tv. instead i’m so busy. but in reality, i like being busy and working on creative things after work instead of being a couch potato. it’s just that every now and then we do need to take some pause.

  2. Well, my theory on this topic is that business is our national disease. I think the powers that be LOVE it that we’re all too crazed to have time to think, and therefore we simply react. It’s so much easier for them to get us to do their bidding that way (ie – allow them to keep making ungodly sums of money at our expense).

    But I also think that we’re willing participants in this game, because when you really and truly slow down, you’re forced to deal with all of those untidy and threatening emotions that most of us would just rather not be faced with. So instead we create all sorts of “important” tasks to fill any empty time that might appear and spend our days playing “busier than thou.” We wear our harried schedules like a badge of honor, but in reality they are our shields against ourselves.

    That’s my theory…

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